Yesterday, we dipped our toes into self-compassion. When you think about being compassionate with a dear friend, what kinds of things do you hear yourself say? What about, "What if it wasn't your fault?". Or, "This is really hard." Or, "No-one could have seen this coming.".
You're likely not hearing yourself say, "Wow! How did you make such a mess of this?". Or, "Come on! It's easy - just try harder.". Or, "Well, if you had just planned properly, you wouldn't be in this situation now.". But I'm betting that you've said these things to yourself when something hasn't worked out. And you may have even said these things to important people in your life.
The old adage, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me", was wrong. Words can hurt. They can hurt deeply. At the very least, harsh words can be extremely unhelpful. But, words can also heal, nurture growth, and foster loving connection. And we can learn to speak the language that helps children heal, grow and love (HINT: You may notice that's the "title" of this blog!).
That change begins with noticing.
So notice... maybe, just for today...what do you say to yourself when you're having a hard time? Are you kind or harsh? Are you encouraging or defeating? Are you loving or hurtful?
Then try to be kind to yourself instead.