EMOTIONAL JOURNEYING WITH KIDS
I left off on the last post with a question: "Why is it so hard to go on those [emotional] journeys with our kids?"
So, today, I thought I'd actually try to answer it!
Our emotional "heritage", what we learned about emotions from our family of origins is definitely one of the reasons it can be hard to go on emotional journeys with our children. If anger was not an emotion that was allowed expression in your home, you're most likely going to be uncomfortable when people (including your children) are angry and will do what you need to in order to suppress it.
Because, if you were not taught through daily life how to deal with anger, it will make you uncomfortable. You will almost hear the judgement that your parents would offer for how you're handling (or not handling) your child's expression of anger as you find yourself becoming distressed by it. There may be a part of you that wants to "fight it" and do something different, but, if you're not sure why, you're going to struggle. Heck! Even if you do know why, you may still struggle, because it's not easy "living your values". It often means having to choose, despite discomfort, to do what you have deemed to be "the right thing" for you, for your child, for your family, for the heritage you want to create for your future generations.
So if you're not sure where to begin, try learning to tolerate distress.