Yesterday we talked about meeting children's needs as a way to help them be able to trust you - to know they can depend and rely on you - as a way to help them learn to regulate their own emotions. Essentially, through the actions of caring for them when they express a need (as infants, by crying), they learn what meets those needs - that hunger is addressed through eating; that fatigue is addressed through sleep, etc.
Over time, they learned to use language and communicate those needs verbally. And that's often when the troubles begin.
When we expect our children to "use their words", we are assuming that they know what words to use to understand the ever more complex feelings and ever more complex needs they are experiencing. Often, they do not have the words to express those feelings or needs, let alone understand them in the first place. This is where you come in - to learn to "co-regulate" them using YOUR words.
What words might you use to "co-regulate" your child?